Coach Yourself
Questions to reflect on today, tomorrow, and far into the future.
I originally wrote these exercises for the students in my classes at Stanford Graduate School of Business. While I hope the questions helped my students set intentions and reflect on their own strengths, goals, and next steps, I know they continue to serve me more than 20 years after my own time in the classroom. Daily reflection, goal-setting, and journaling help me improve as a father, son, partner, manager, and teammate. Asking these questions reminds me to reflect, and writing about them is incredibly clarifying as I choose how best to spend my time.
I’ve divided the questions into sections, so choose a heading that lines up with what you’re hoping to achieve. Choose the ones that resonate, or go through the entire list. I hope you find a few that help guide you on whatever steps you’re taking right now. I recommend keeping a journal (or Google doc!) to track your answers over time. You’ll be amazed by how your perspectives change as you work toward your goals.
“We activate different parts of our brain when we talk out loud.”
You are not alone on this journey. Talk about these questions with a friend, coach, mentor, partner, or work colleague. We activate different parts of our brain when we talk out loud.
Finally, schedule time. Put blocks of time on your calendar to ask and answer the questions most relevant to you.
Questions to ask yourself daily:
1. What is my North Star? What things are most important to me over my lifetime?
2. What are my three major goals for this year/quarter? You can set goals related to self, relationships, career, etc. Write these somewhere you can reference them often.
3. What are my three goals for today?
4. What are my three most important interactions today, and how do I want to show up in each?
If you want to…
Set a life direction or define your passion:
1. What is my Genie goal—see The Most Common Question I Hear From Students. What are some limiting beliefs I have about X? How can I overcome them?
2. What am I doing to pursue my dreams right now?
3. What did I want to be when I was younger?
4. What will I regret not doing with my life?
5. What would I do differently if I were reborn?
6. What is the worst case of pursuing X? Can I live with that?
7. Consider the intersection of:
What am I great at?
What does the world need?
What do I enjoy?
What will pay me enough to live how I choose?
8. Do I like my job? What do I like? What do I dislike?
9. If I left my current life in order to pursue my dreams, what would I lose?
Set a goal or prioritize your actions:
Where do I see myself in one year? Five years? Ten years?
What is essential? If I had to eliminate half of all my activities, what would I remove? Which activities are not a great use of time?
What’s my biggest challenge? What are the 10 things I could do to reduce this or make it go away? As an example, one of my greatest challenges is time in the day, so what are all the things on my list I can outsource or eliminate entirely?
Describe the next five years of my life in one sentence.
Move toward a specific goal:
Imagine if you didn’t have the constraints of time, resources, or mindset. What if you could write down an intended outcome and it would come true?
We’re 31% more intelligent when we’re in a positive frame of mind, according to Shawn Achor, a happiness researcher, author of “The Happiness Advantage” and founder of GoodThink, Inc. This “happiness advantage” gives us more energy and makes us more creative, so that completing the work in front of us is not only more pleasant, but also more effective.
· Write down 20 actions you could take to move you toward your goal.
· Circle the actions you could take today. Commit to them.
· Star actions that would move the needle the most. Schedule time for them on your calendar.
Focus on how to run your company:
1. If we were best in the world at X, what would that look like?
2. How would we achieve our five-year goals in six months?
3. How can we double our revenue from existing customers?
4. What would make us ten times better than the competition?
Overcome stress:
1. What is bothering me?
2. What actions can I take on this?
3. How is dwelling on this serving me?
4. What do I need to forgive myself for?
5. Can I give myself permission to move on?
6. How is X the best thing that could happen to me right now?
Define who you want to become:
What am I like at my best? How can I bring that person into my life?
Have I done anything worth remembering lately? How can I do more of that?
Which bad habits do I want to break?
How would I describe my ideal self in five words? How can I move toward my ideal?
What am I excited about?
What do I want most out of life?
What impact do I want to leave in the world? What do I want to be remembered for?
What stands between me and happiness?
If a doctor gave me one year to live, what would I try to accomplish?
What do I like most about myself?
When I close my eyes, what do I dream of?
What does success mean to me?
Make an impact on the people closest to you and improve those relationships:
Who do I love most? What am I doing for those people?
Whose life have I had the greatest impact on?
If I had 24 hours to live, who would I be with 23 hours from now?
Who do I want to spend more time with? Who do I want to spend less time with?
What if I told X how I really feel?
Reflect on the past & future:
What are my greatest strengths? What are my greatest weaknesses? List them.
What am I most proud of?
What am I looking forward to? Why?
What has been the greatest adventure of my life?
If I had the chance to go back in time and change one thing, what would I change?
What advice would I give a younger version of myself?
Other Resources
Listen to Shawn Achor’s podcast, “Why a Happy Brain Performs Better,” from the HBR Ideacast at WNYC.org.
Read Achor’s book, "The Happiness Advantage" or Benjamin Franklin’s biography, "The Art of Virtue", available from San Francisco’s Green Apple Books or your local bookstore.
