Four Reasons You Likely Won’t Keep Your New Year’s Resolutions (And How to Change That!)
As the holiday decorations go back into their bins and the quiet contemplation of midwinter sets in, many of us shift our attention to the person we want to be in the year ahead. The start of a new year offers us an opportunity to step back, reflect, and set a new direction. Like the trees that have recently shed their leaves, we are given a clean slate and a new beginning.
Right about now, your internal dialogue may sound something like this: This is the year I move to a plant-based diet, stop drinking alcohol, take cold showers, meditate daily, and become a regular at Orange Theory. This year will be different. I will be different — just as soon as the calendar turns to January 1.
As you may have predicted from the title of this article, I have little faith in such naively optimistic self talk. It’s not that I don’t believe in your ability to change — actually, on the contrary! It’s just that the way most people go about setting New Year’s resolutions is broken.
Ninety percent of people who set New Year’s resolutions don’t keep them, according to research conducted by the Society for Personality and Social Psychology (SPSP). Failing to uphold a resolution seems like an innocuous outcome, and sometimes it is. But if you’ve set the goal to lose 10 pounds annually for the past decade and failed, at some point that failure starts to impact your belief in your ability to hit any of your goals. Failing to reach goals affects your core self-esteem – and that is a problem worth addressing.
So, with that in mind, here are the four main reasons why people fail to hit their New Year’s resolutions, and how to avoid falling into these traps yourself.
“The way most people go about setting New Year’s resolutions is broken.”
Your goal is too amorphous.
When we set goals like “drink less” or “exercise more,” we are destined to fail before the clock strikes midnight. Setting an amorphous goal is actually often a subconscious way of allowing ourselves to avoid making any commitment at all. The clearer, simpler, and more tangible the goal, the easier it is for our subconscious mind to process the goal and work toward achieving it. Here are a few examples of how amorphous goals can become tangible goals you’re more likely to follow:
“Setting an amorphous goal is actually often a subconscious way of allowing ourselves to avoid making any commitment at all.”
2. You’re relying too much on willpower.
If you spend five nights per week with people who drink, you will likely have difficulty limiting your drinking. Likewise, it will be challenging to choose to eat an apple when extra spicy barbeque potato chips are staring at you every time you open your pantry — and there are no apples in the house.
Contrary to what self talk and fitness influencers on social media might tell you, you are not uniquely weak. Some researchers have found that, just like endurance, willpower is an exhaustible resource. We start each day with a finite amount of willpower and deplete our reserves as the day goes on. To stick with your habits, you need to hack your environment in ways that reduce the need for that precious resource.
For example, if you exercise 30 minutes of willpower at the grocery store, you can save eight hours a day of resisting chips in your pantry. If you spend 30 minutes booking personal training sessions for the week, you can save the daily struggle of deciding if you should work out. Choose wisely how you expend your willpower, and you will make healthy choices easier for yourself.
“Choose wisely how you expend your willpower, and you will make healthy choices easier for yourself.”
3. You start too big.
When we’re excited about our New Year’s resolutions, we’re overly optimistic and want to dive in headfirst. We might start with a daily goal of 90 minutes at the gym or 22 hours of intermittent fasting. While admirably ambitious, starting too big is almost always a mistake. The ultimate objective of a New Year’s resolution is to create a sustainable habit, and that’s very difficult to do when you bite off too much. Give yourself a break. Exercise for 10-20 minutes a day versus 90. Meditate for three minutes instead of 30, and fast for 12 hours instead of 22 hours. As you build the habit, you can slowly extend the time. If you achieve your goal early, nothing is stopping you from setting a new, more aggressive goal mid-year. But on the flip side, if you set too big of a goal on January 1, you’re more likely to fall into trap four below.
“The ultimate objective of a New Year’s resolution is to create a sustainable habit, and that’s very difficult to do when you bite off too much. ”
4. You declare defeat the first time you miss.
I have a close friend who started a low-carb diet last year. He was incredibly disciplined for nearly a month. He lost weight and had fewer energy crashes throughout the day. He was making great progress until, one day at a conference, he ate a muffin. Then he ate a bagel. Then he ate an entire package of bagels. And that was the end of his low-carb diet. Forever.
Realize you’re not perfect. You will make mistakes. You will miss a day at the gym, skip a meditation session, and devour some of mom’s oatmeal cookies. That’s okay. You’re starting a new habit. Give yourself permission to be imperfect. Then get back on the wagon and begin anew.
“Give yourself permission to be imperfect.”
New year, new approach
When you set a new goal or habit, there are several steps you can take to improve your odds of success. Make your goal clear, shape your environment to reduce your reliance on willpower, start small, and don’t give up if you cheat or miss a day. As you consistently make and keep commitments to yourself, you will increase your confidence and self-esteem. Your ability to stick with goals will slowly change how you view yourself and your capabilities. Adhering to a New Year’s resolution may seem like a small thing, but it could be the beginning of a lifetime spent trusting yourself to hit the goals you set.
Have an amazing year, and good luck!
“Your ability to stick with goals will slowly change how you view yourself and your capabilities.”